The First Entry

Hi everybody! I am about to establish rapport by using exclamation marks, emoticons and CAPS LOCK! GET READY!!! :) :) :) ;) Did you feel the connection then? The waves of pure joy emanating from the words on your computer screen like they were scooped out of a Chernobyl landfill? I know I sure did, and I hope my radioactive greeting has induced a happy little cancer in your brain you will call Mark Vickers.

Now, starting a blog is not new to me. I am a master starter. I've read the first thirty pages of just about every book that's out there. Tolstoy? Yep. Fitzgerald? You bet. Shakespeare? Shall I compare thee to a something or other... YES! I have also started almost 50 journals. My bookshelf is lined with fine, leather backed tomes with one entry asserting that this time I am going to stick with it... for reals. As a result, I've gotten quite good at writing first entries so it's pretty much going to be downhill from here.

But stow that talk! I shalll prevail! No longer will the ennui of daily existence thwart my literary forays!

It is with this sentiment that I have decided to join the online army of knuckleheads with computers and start a blog. But this will be no ordinary blog, no sir. This will be my blog, an accessory in my deviant escapades, and, most importantly, a chance for me to entertain you. Why? Because I love you.

You're probably asking yourself why this is called The Existential Robot Novel Project. Be patient, all will be revealed in due time. All I'll tell you now is it involves you listening to a novel idea I have about a man who turns into a robot with existential issues. Aren't you lucky! Until then, I leave you with a tribute to the giant crap I just took.

Stay classy